24.04.12 Poppy Seed Fragility

I went walking before church on Sunday, again putting my good foot forward and making sure I get a regular bit of exercise. I was also a little nervous about meeting a lot of very excited lovely people at church as baby arrival is somewhat overwhelming to think about sometimes. I ended up walking around the Cathedral, down to the harbour and then up Kirkhill where I was married, through the cathedral and by the cloisters, where I took a seat few a couple of minutes. I started thinking about how steady these big blocks of stone are. Even after people tried to tear them down they are still standing and have been standing for years and years; in comparison, this life inside of me is new, in comparison I’m pretty new! We are fragile like all humanity. This being knitted together inside of me is tiny and fragile and will be for many years to come. They will depend on me as we depend on God. Whereas these blocks of stone, the land they rest upon were made by a never-ending God and will last longer than everyone of us! Crazy!

Eating has been interesting, I didn’t expect to get hungrier more but I am, but I still don’t want to eat too much so I guess that’s good. Daddy Cronin has also gone into “Man-must-protect-wife-ugug” in a cute way and ran off to get fruit and healthy things to snack on to increase vitamins for me. I did find out from GP mother-of-mine that actually you need extra vitamins because baby is stealing them from you. If you only have your normal amount, baby will be find because they get precedence, but you will feel awful. Cheeky little thing – definitely a Cronin – already stealing food!

We’ve been thinking a lot about foods recently, trying not to worry but still getting ourselves sorted with what we should and shouldn’t be eating. As I don’t drink, smoke or have caffeine in general I’m fine. I also don’t tend to have crazy spicy food (although Daddy Cronin does) and seafood/raw eggs/uncooked meats is pretty easy to avoid. I have been worrying a little about checks and illness, and genetics and things but I’m getting over it. I never thought I’d worry this much about something I didn’t know existed this time last week! The good thing is I haven’t started full-blown morning sickness yet – yay! Bit of stomach ickiness but nothing big. Dad feeling lil’ bit sympathy sick which is cute more than anything.

Prayer has been really important recently. Of course it was before but we’ve taken at least a decent time each day to pray for life with baby and babies life, etc. Last night it was whilst driving back to Dundee, which was good and ended in some worship stuff. It’s still hard to believe that there is anything really there but in life some things are just tiny. God created the MAHOOSIVE and the teeny tiny. Right now baby is teeny tiny. In fact is meant to be a poppy seed just about now. Daddy Cronin sent me a picture from the supermarket about how tiny that is.

Names have been a big part of conversations over the last few days. Even though we had a list, when it got real we (well mainly me) started to think MUCH more seriously about it all. Most are the same and I felt better about a couple having found out they have cool meanings. There is still one that is bugging me, but I’m sure we’ll figure it out. Godparents is another thing to think about. It is very important to us that when we pick Godparents they actually really realise the faithful responsibility they will have towards this life. You’d think this would make it more difficult to find people, but actually the difficulty is picking 2 from the amazingly awesome group of Christian friends we have. We are surrounded by awesome people who have awesome testimonies and continue to walk in faith. It is beautiful to watch. Susie said something amazing at church though; she said that even though the official Godparents may be praying, our child will have many more unofficial godparents who are constantly praying for our wellbeing. That is beautiful and completely true about the amazing people around us. We love them, and Susie, an awfully high amount. It’s true that many people are already so excited to see you!

Celebration meal was a bit spontaneous but I think really good for Daddy Cronin and I. We are currently on a tight budget but scraped a little off our savings to get a curry, Daddy C loves Indian, and the baby’s a Cronin, it’ll be eating chilis by age 5! Jokes!.. I think..

The number of changing plans we’ve now had to work out is biiiig, for example I’ve already asked my mother-in-law about studying/teaching at the same time as having a baby and think it might just work, but I also don’t want to become a mother who puts her child second. Figuring life out with a new life is definitely testing our resources but we’ve been getting used to that in marriage anyway so I’m sure it’ll all turn out right in the end.

Now, to find a nursing bra so my chest doesn’t feel like it’s exploding! Oh life!

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