Sometimes I try to figure out what I want life to be. I think of family first. I could never imagine myself with a family when I was young, couldn’t imagine being married and having kids. Now I can’t imagine my future without them. Then I think of friends, fun times with amazing people I care about, talking, developing ideas, exploring life together. Mixed in with this are some visions of a house and land and a few dogs, the little things.

A job, a career, a passion and a vocation are much harder things to visualise. I have felt called to certain paths before, but some have turned out differently, and some I am yet to come to, so I move as and when I need to without worrying too much.

There are certain things I love doing. I love cooking. I love art. I love creating things and seeing people get joy from them. I love making people think, lifting them up, showing them a little bit of heaven. If you can tell me what I need to do to do all this I would love you forever.

I have a lot of ideas and no idea how exactly to start. I have a few projects in progress but I’m not sure any or them are leading me into something I want to do for a lifetime. I think a lot of this is about belief. I’m not completely sure I have the belief in myself to feel that it could be a success. I’m not completely sure what I think success is in my mind…

Do I want to be famous? Not really. Have a huge amount of money? Might be nice but I’d probably want to give it all away pretty soon. Do I need people to like me? I don’t think so, although I do appreciate my friends to a large extent for the part they play. Do I want to make a difference to the world? Yes. I just don’t know how.

Don’t you love questions! They might not get you anywhere but sometimes it can be fun asking anyway. I will continue to ask myself these questions and hope you do too, because maybe you will find an answer, and maybe you will be a success, and maybe you will change the world. Worth thinking about.

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